Over the last few weeks, I've been keeping a running list on my phone of things that I want to remember. Mostly centered around my experience in the hospital and life once we got home. Things that made a big impression on me, things that nobody told me that I would've liked to know, and things that people told me that I just needed to experience in order to really hear. I want to document them for the moms-to-be, but also so that if I ever decide to do this again, I have my own notes!
So... list #1: Things nobody told me:
1. Be prepared for anything, starting BEFORE the onset of labor. I knew to be flexible once labor began, but nobody told me that one minute I'd be seemingly fine and the next minute I'd be listening to my doctor tell me to go directly to the hospital. I freaked out in that moment because that was NOT the way things were going to happen (in my mind). It was a Friday, we were planning one last lazy weekend and I had things to do! Baby is truly the boss, starting well before they physically enter the world. Remember this: BABY IS BOSS.
2. Get everything out of the boxes & test it, and clean it before baby. Once you get home, you will need things and you will need them FAST. Even things you think you have plenty of time to get around to. Wash everything, and organize things. And put diapers, wipes and onesies in the most convenient place! In the first day at home, which was actually a half day for us, Liam went through SIX outfits, and peed on us 3 times. The first few diaper/outfit changes were a total scramble and took both Tom and I to get through. I also needed to pump, but we hadn't bothered to open up the pump and figure out how it worked, let alone sterilize it. Like my favorite commercial as of late, the first night home was a doozy. (I get teary every time!)
3. Amenities for the Dad in the hospital are pathetic. It's really sad. The "beds" they get the pleasure of sleeping in are basically cardboard chairs. They don't get meal service, so they have to exist on cafeteria food or order in. Sometimes the nurses put them to work. Moms get everything you could possibly need and more. Meals, warm blankets, socks, any kind of medicine you can imagine (and ones you can't), snacks at 3am, fresh ice water every 4 hours. We (moms) obviously went through a major medical event, but the role of the Dad is severely underestimated.
4. Have good insurance. This one is kind of a no-brainer, but get your insurance ducks in a row before you're even pregnant. And take advantage of an FSA or something similar. Guess what a by-the-book vag delivery costs these days? I'm talking JUST the 2 days in the hospital, not even counting all the pre & post-natal care or the OB's fees: over $15k.
5. Breastfeeding is HARD. In a lot of ways. I knew to expect a degree of physical discomfort, but there are hurdles I never knew existed. Positioning, latching, timing, clothing, leaking, self-doubt, etc. Not to mention, it's exhausting. Every single day I think about quitting, but I promised myself I'd give it 6 weeks. One of the sweet nurses in the hospital said to me "If it was easy, full-time Lactation Consultants wouldn't exist." Amen, sister. Use the LC's at the hospital, at the pediatrician, at the OBGYN and anywhere else they are. They rock. Oh, and get yourself 3-4 good nursing bras and nursing pads. Thank me later. (On the plus side, it burns a LOT of calories, and the doctor tells you to eat full fat ice cream each day!)
6. Hormones are c-r-a-z-y. Talk about a roller-coaster! I'm not just talking about laughs one minute and tears the next (though that happened a lot), but even things like night sweats and hot flashes were regulars for the first few weeks. The hardest thing for me was when Tom had to go back to work. He had a week off, but we spent it in the hospital with Liam in the NICU. So when we were finally discharged, he had 2.5 days to be at home with us. After the week from hell we had just gone though, there was no way I was ready to go it alone. I was so angry at his employer (not warranted) that I spent one afternoon researching paternity time in various countries. Why? I have no clue. In the moment it was a good outlet for my rage, though it was not productive AT ALL. My mom was all set to come stay with us for a little while, but the day before she came she broke her elbow! (Heal fast mama!) Luckily my MIL was able to come up for a few days to help out and keep me company, otherwise I'm not sure I would've kept my sanity. (Thanks again Doreen!) Another great read if you're extra curious and have some time on your hands is Lucie's List. I stumbled upon this and it's so spot on!
7. Labor is worse in your mind. Don't get me wrong, it's no walk in the park (or even close). But in the moment, you're listening to the nurses and doctor and doing what they tell you do. Your focus shifts to getting the job done and responding to your body.
8. Palmer's Cocoa Butter lotion. Use it generously, aaaalllll over. Every single day. As soon as you find out you're pregnant. I make no promises, but it helps fight off stretch marks! Tom says it smells like Easter, so you have that to look forward to :)
That's all I've captured so far, but I'm only a month in so there's bound to be more! Anybody out there have anything to add?
Next up: great advice people gave me (that I had to experience to believe).
Happy weekend all!
No comments:
Post a Comment